domestic bliss

August 2082 - Cameron Gibson is 31, Bella Bradshaw is 26, Delilah Gibson is 9 months. Last update, November 2080. *Optional soundtrack, "Sex and reruns," by Matt Duke*

*** This is long ;) ***

She missed a recording session because he wasn't home yet. She hates missing work! It's the one thing in the world she's ever been competent at, and not many people actually get this chance she's gotten and she's not going to blow it because he's a flake!

"Where were you?" she says, her voice calm and cold as he walks into the living room.

"Working," he says. "Is Lila in bed?"

"Of course she is. It's nine-freaking-thirty!"

The calm leaves her and she springs up from the couch and at him. "What were you even doing? I'm tired. I'm hungry. I'm fucking knocked up! I've been looking after your baby all day when I'm supposed to be working, and what the hell were you doing?"

"I'm taking pictures now," he says. It's a really great gig."

"Are you serious? I'm missing work because you're flitting around town taking pictures?"

"I told you I had a session," she says. "Your work isn't important."

"To you," he says.

"No, to any of us. Don't forget I'm the bread and butter of this little trio."

"You're not making much more than me," he says.

"Long term, Cameron, think with your brain!"

"I thought you said I was a pretty brainless oaf?"

"No, I'm serious," she says, as he starts to smile. "Don't freaking smile like that! Will you take me seriously for one goddamn minute? Are you drunk?"

"No," he says.

"You're drunk!"

"No I'm not," he says. "I took some Ny-Quil. And hey, lay off a little, I think I'm taking this pretty damn well. I didn't sign up for any of this."

"Well then get the hell out."

"What?"

"Go," she says. "Get out of here, leave!"

"I didn't mean it like that," he says.

"I don't need you here," she says. "I don't need your damn pity!"

"It's not pity - I don't pity you. Where do you want me to go?"

"I don't care. Just go!"

"Do you mean it?"

She doesn't mean it, not when she gives him those sad brown eyes.

"Do you know what my agent said to me?" she says. "The first thing he said was, 'Are you keeping it?' The second thing he said was, 'Well just don't get too fat then.' The third thing he said was, 'For crying out loud, Bella, learn to use your damn birth control or keep your fucking legs closed!' And then he finished with, 'It's a damn good thing you're doing a cartoon this year.'"

Cameron says, "Do you want me to beat him up?"

"Oh please," she says. "You couldn't beat up a fly."

She kisses him.

He kisses her back.

"Eww, you taste like Ny-Quil."

"Yeah," he says. "I told you. I think I'm coming down with something."

"You idiot, I'm pregnant!"

"Oh, right," he says.

"I know you don't want the damn thing, but you don't have to try to kill it! You're sleeping on the couch!"

He sits down. She leaves the room fuming.

She's right, about the brainless part. But not about the wanting to kill it part, or even the not wanting it part. He never had time to even consider if he wanted it or not. From pretty playboy to father of two, in the space of two years? How do you wrap your brain around that? Even if you had a more powerful brain than Cameron has?

He didn't sleep on the couch though. She wakes up to find him nuzzled under her arm, sniffling and snotty. He's such a whiny baby when he's sick. So she holds him there to her chest, thinking about her harsh words, a terrible feeling swelling within her, and what is that? Guilt? Do you see what this man has done to her, Bella Bradshaw feeling guilty? Because it wasn't true that she doesn't need him. It isn't for money, and it's not because she can't raise her children on her own, but because she actually wants him, and just him. She's still trying to come to terms with it, so foreign to her and yet so very simple. She actually wants just this one stupid beautiful oaf?

Well, it won't be the sleeping part that does it anyway, but probably the kissing. By morning she's feeling snotty and stuffed up too. As if she didn't feel crappy enough already being three months pregnant.

"I'm sorry, baby," she says that morning, trying to make amends. "You probably could beat up a fly, you know, if you really tried."

She's being generous. He couldn't kill a fly. He wouldn't get near a fly, the filthy creatures! Do you have any idea how many germs they carry?

Her mother calls from time to time, and has just found out Bella's big news, her second surprise pregnancy. Her mother says much of the same things everyone else says, "How do you manage it, Bella? Again? How could you possibly? How were you even having sex again so soon? God, you didn't buy into that breastfeeding myth, did you? You only breastfed Delilah for six weeks!"

Her mother was right about what a lovely child Cameron would make, though above everything, she was really hoping there might be a ring involved. She says, "I didn't mean for you to get yourself knocked up. I meant I wanted to see you married."

Bella Bradshaw spent the whole of her early twenties fending off men from trying to marry her, and now the one she wouldn't mind getting hitched to isn't at all on the same page. "I'm not about to beg a man to marry me," Bella says. "If he doesn't want to, then he just doesn't." She holds back a wretch in her throat and lies to her mother, "I'll call you back later, Mom. Gotta go."

She's finally the budding young actress she always dreamed of being, a promising and rising young star. Somehow, when she was that little girl daydreaming, she always imagined it being more glamorous than this.

She and Cameron bought a townhome on West Washington, and it's certainly fit for the rising young star that she is! The monologue she performed last summer landed her an agent, even if he is an asshole. An agent, and a leading voice role, playing a feisty princess with a posse of animal friends, in the summer's biggest animated blockbuster for the under-twelve crowd.

Across the street are the Miller, Nova, and Phoenix families, and her much-loved cousin Amelia is just around the corner, of course, on the other side of West Washington. Not that they're bragging or anything - oh, hell, yes they're bragging - the homes on this side of West Washington are much bigger! And they come with a pool, hot tub, sauna on the garage level.

And Bella Bradshaw would like to say to her cousin Amelia that she also bought her own house with her own money (and just a little bit of Cameron's too). And it's bigger! And Bella would be saying all of this, of course, while sticking out her tongue and singing, Nah-na-nah-na-boo-boo.

They don't have much of a "yard" but they do get some butterflies out on the patio. And this is what occupies Cameron and Lila when Bella goes to work, three months pregnant with the flu! Even Cameron is smart enough to know you're not supposed to go to work when you're that sick, and pregnant on top of it. But she's just so darned stubborn! She'd better start taking care of herself though - he didn't sign up for any of this, and he certainly didn't sign up to be a single father either!

He was actually worried enough that he called Mariah, and she sent Micah over with soup. "Don't breathe on me or anything," Micah says. "And Mariah says you guys better not be sick for her party."

They have the soup after Bella comes home from work, and it's some pretty amazing stuff! They can feel their sinuses clearing already!

"I know you didn't sign up for this," Bella says. "Nobody's making you stick around or anything."

He says, "What do you actually want?"

"No," she says. "I want to know what you want." She shouldn't have to say it, should she? She doesn't even know why she wants it really. It goes against everything she's ever known. But she hasn't been with anyone in two and a half years! She doesn't even miss it, the cheap validation from random men. Maybe motherhood did that for her. But how many proposals has she had in her lifetime, and now this one won't bite the bullet?

But all Cameron hears is just what she keeps telling him, that she doesn't need him, and that he can go if he wants. And that isn't what he wants. That much he knows, and that they need a bigger TV. He says, "I want a flat-screen for the living room?"

She just stares at him, blank-faced.

He says, "A pinball machine?"

***

Mariah finally has that dinner party she's been planning, and here's a situation Bella Bradshaw never thought she would experience, showing up to a playdate with a kid in tow? Okay, maybe it isn't exactly a playdate, since Quinn is only one week old. It's more of a dinner party. Cameron doesn't care what they call it, he's just hungry.

But he isn't very impressed with Mariah's cooking, and isn't very tactful about it either. But Mariah is tired, having just had a baby one week ago. In all proper etiquette, they should be the ones bringing over dinner, but Mariah insisted. She even sent Micah out to buy farm fresh fish and everything. So the least they can do is eat and be grateful. And besides, the trout isn't bad. Cameron had to be different and try the bass. Bella kicks him underneath the table.

Cameron can't believe they're about to do all of this all over again, when they thought things were just getting easier with Delilah. Micah says, "So, you have any advice?"

"Advice?" Cameron says. "Um, don't drop her on her head."

"Yeah," Micah says. "I figured that much."

Bella says, "So you guys are happy then? I mean, this is it, right? Husband, house, kid... oh my God, I'll just die if you have a white picket fence!"

"No," Mariah says. "It's red brick, the fence."

"What about you though, do you feel, like, completed?"

"It's surprisingly comfortable," Mariah says. "I was scared of it for a long time, but then one day I just wasn't anymore."

"What about Cameron? Didn't you say you wanted to marry him?"

Bella nods her head. "I did," she says. "But it's not like he's asking."

"He probably doesn't know you even want to."

"It doesn't matter," Bella says. "We'd probably screw it up anyway."

"It means she's hungry," Bella says. "When she squirms around and contorts like that."

They both shrug their shoulders. "I figured it was something like that," Mariah says.

Micah collects the hungry baby and goes to get a bottle.

"Check this out," Bella says, sitting down next to her own little family. "This is the best. You guys are going to love this age."

Delilah just learned to play peek-a-boo and they can't get enough. Bella finds him like this, when he doesn't think anyone's watching, playing with her like the big stupid child that he is. She keeps thinking he'll drop her on her head or something, but he never does. Who would have thought he'd be so good at this? Who would have thought they'd enjoy this so much? The way she laughs, and makes them laugh in turn, the way she looks up to them, her whole future in those big, wide eyes, loving unconditionally because it's all she knows.

Those are Cameron's eyes, Bella knows this. The living proof of their makeshift little family. But she wants more than just joint children and joint property. It must be pregnancy hormones that makes her want to build a family in a proper, solid way.

***

In the nights, with Bella knocked out cold in her preggo sleep, and Lila sleeping solid through the night these days, it's Cameron's time to play. It's not that he wants to hide anything from her - Cameron just doesn't have the brainpower to be that calculating. It's just that one of his "boys" is James Porter, and you know, history with Mariah and all. Cameron's friends aren't likely to be invited to any playdates any time soon.

They're waiting outside for James to show up, and Cameron says, "I went to college. I'm not that dumb."

Max says, "Dude, do I look like your therapist?"

"She keeps telling me she doesn't need me around. I think she wants to get rid of me."

Cameron is even too oblivious to cheat on his girlfriend, and there are plenty of girls waiting in line to hop on board.

He finally notices her there, but only to tell her about his promotion. She's clearly not impressed - she's not in it for the long-term, and doesn't care what he does for a living. But why does nobody care about his promotion, he wonders? It's a really neat job! Taking pictures a few days a week, making some decent money...

Cameron is still thinking about his promotion when Max looks over at James with a stupid grin on his face. "What the hell are you smiling about?" James says.

"Hey, what about Cam helping us out some nights-"

"No," James says.

"Nothing important," Max says. "Some muscle work or something."

"Muscle work? No way in hell!" James says. "He'd break a precious nail. He'd get us all put behind bars."

Max says, "Hi, Heather."

James says, "Hi, Heather."

Cameron is thinking, Dudes can get manicures, right? I wonder if I should do some hand modeling?

The girl in pink sits down with them at the table, and Max usually prefers the private kind of poker games, but if this girl is going to bring up kissing as a topic of conversation, then she's more than welcome to join. "I'm wearing vanilla lip gloss," she says. "Which one of you boys wants to try it out?"

Cameron says, "Vanilla lip gloss? Nah, lip gloss isn't really my thing. I mean, I'll wear Chapstick from time to time, especially in the winter, but no, not lip gloss."

So since James is too quiet and brooding to get laid, and Cameron is too dumb, Max just doesn't have it in his heart to let a pretty blonde go lonely!

"Can you believe this guy?" James says. "Why do you think he does it? It's not an accident or anything, or an act of passion. It's just like he's bored. Man, I just don't get it, why get married and then be all like that. Why even bother?"

"I was never like that with Mariah. Those girls are kind of screwed up in the head, but man, she was something."

"Yeah, I can't figure out Bella either," Cameron says. "She keeps telling me I can leave if I want to."

James laughs. "That means she doesn't want you to leave."

"Why doesn't she just say that then?"

"Trust me," James says. "They make it good and clear when they don't want you anymore."

"Mariah had the baby, did you hear?"

"No," James says. "Girl or boy?"

"It's a girl," Cameron says. "Quinn."

James tucks his head down into his cards and says, "What the hell kind of name is Quinn?"

Meanwhile, in further and more dimly lit parts of the bar, Maxwell Shaw is stepping out of a photo booth. He says, "What? I adore my wife. She's my queen. I wouldn't have married anyone else in the world."

Bella is awake when Cameron finally gets home, at some quiet hour of the early morning. She's more than awake, she's wide-eyed and jolted. "I can't sleep," she says. That's the other part of her crashing hard and early - first trimester insomnia through the night. He remembers the same thing from her first pregnancy.

"You wanna not sleep in bed?" he says.

He tries to stay awake with her for as long as he can. She wants to talk.

"I never said I didn't want it," he says. "I never even had time to think about it."

"Well think now," she says.

"We're having it. I'm glad you didn't get rid of it, you know, when I said I didn't care. I guess I care."

"Fine," she says.

"Am I really so bad at this?"

"You fool," she says. "No, you're not bad at this. You're fine."

And that's the point, she thinks. That's why she wants it like she does, more than she's ever wanted anything before. Maybe they wouldn't screw it up? How would they even know unless they tried? But she doesn't say that, she just can't bring herself to it.

*****

notes: Technically, Delilah won't be a year old until November, but since I knew I wanted a scene with her and Quinn together, I aged her to toddler, and set her size to 0.85. I'm just being nit-picky and I didn't want a newborn and 9 month-old to look the same size. But then that scene was pissing me off, which is why you might notice their seating arrangements are all out of sync, lol! Ah well, the newborn life-stage is pretty much useless anyway ;)

This took forever to write! Not just because it's long, but because I have a really hard time getting a handle on Cameron's character. He has no nice points at all, but in-game, he doesn't come across as mean or evil-spirited in the least - but maybe vain, and tactless because of his brainlessness. Who would have thought it would be so hard to write someone so simple, but it is! Maybe I don't feel like there's anything to grab onto with him, and maybe that also inspires Bella's frustrations...

This is the second time she's rolled it. The first time lost its lock and rolled away, but she rolled it back again. She's serious about this, people! (For crying out loud, I can't even get Hayden Phoenix to roll a marriage want, and he's a family Sim!)

And Cameron really is just as simple as he seems. All he wants is to do it in the hot tub, do it in bed, do it in public, win a gaming competition, buy this or that ridiculous thing, repeat... He's never rolled marriage wants of any kind. He probably wouldn't care though. It's not like he wants to whore around, or is even complex enough to value his freedom as a bachelor, lol!

Shocking! Who would have ever guessed it? Bella Bradshaw loves being a mommy! And she's a GOOD mommy too! I swear, she rolls wants for Delilah constantly! But then the more I think about it, it makes perfect sense. If all her experiences with romantic love have been largely superficial, and she's still figuring out her relationship with Cameron, then motherhood might just be the first real solid love she's ever experienced.

That youtube video was the best version of that song I could find online. I couldn't even buy the live version I like on itunes at all, and the album version is just much too cheerful for what the lyrics are talking about. This is kind of Bella's theme song right now. One of the lines is: "When you suck at life, but you're much too scared to die," and I thought, awww, that's my Bella! :)

*** outtakes ***

Man, this girl had it bad! She was not leaving the bar until she got her hands on one of them! She liked Cameron more, but since he was clearly not interested, I gave her Max instead - Max was happy to oblige, lol!