stories about you

December 2082 - Joel Harris is 41, Aurora is 37, Zach is 4. (Valerie Shaw is 41, Nathan Lind is 32, Ally is 29.) Last update, February 2081.

"No funny business," he tells her. "I want pictures."

She complies, their four year-old is just feet away on the ice rink after all. Though she feels she could rip his clothes off and have him right there in that photo booth, even as cold as it is outside. She'd be efficient, they don't need to remove everything.

It's just the way she gets this time of the month - after years of trying to have their first child, Aurora Harris is well-versed in the art of baby-making. She's an expert on it, and she knows she's ovulating. She doesn't need the thermometer or calendars anymore, she can feel it happening, the ripeness. The hormones, urges, and lust that drive this new life to be born.

But what she doesn't know is if this is just biology at work, or does she actually want another baby?

Zachary is four years old now, and already he's a charming little guy. He wants a new little addition too, he says. A sister, precisely, but for now he'll just have to entertain his new neighbor, Devon Shaw.

But Joel thinks their family is just perfect. Just look at how beautiful they are, the great love of his life, and this little boy who looks like the split combination of them in equal proportions. How could their family be any more perfect? How can he even take his eyes away from them?

He'll have to take his eyes away, sometimes of course, if he wants to see where he's going.

She gets out of bed in the middle of the night. This happens sometimes, a flash of story and a rush of words, itching at her fingers to get out. Her eyes still adjust to the brightness of the screen, but her fingers are already hard at work - she doesn't actually need to see. She could do this with her eyes closed even.

He finds her side of the bed empty and stumbles downstairs after her. Even as well as he knows her, he still has to ask, "What are you doing?"

"I couldn't sleep," she says. I had to write something. I don't know what it is yet, it might be something, it might not."

"Is it about me?"

"Joel, honey," she says. "It's fiction."

But then she realizes the story she's writing is about a woman trying to conceive a baby. She stops.

"I think I want another baby," she says.

"I thought you said we were okay."

"I don't know," she says. "I think I want one more. Just one."

"Now?" he says. "The timing couldn't be worse," he says. "I could be leaving any time now. You'd be alone with a newborn."

"The timing is fine," she says. "It won't ever be better. I'm only thirty-seven now. But by the time you get back, we might not be able to. We might not get another chance."

"Come here," he says, and he pulls her to her feet.

"Let's just think about it, okay?"

He doesn't think this is a good idea, but in respect of their marriage vows - and they do respect them - this is also something only he can give her.

All little Zachary can talk about lately is about how his daddy is going out into space soon. He wants to know everything. "What do the aliens look like? What kind of a space ship will you fly? Are there guns on the ship, are there bombs, do they have those laser beam shooters like in the movies? And are you going to get to shoot a gun? And can I see it? Will you let me try?"

The answer is no, to most of these questions. But then there's why - why are they coming here? "That's what we're trying to figure out," Joel says.

Zachary even imagines the suit he'll wear, which in his imagination, looks something like the robotic space fighter he has on his dresser. But Joel's uniform won't be that fancy. In fact, being in ships the whole time, they'll actually need to be comfortable, and will wear standard military dress. So much to little Zachary's dismay, his daddy won't have an extendable laser beam arm on his suit.

They talk about other things too, and Aurora joins them at an inopportune moment.

Joel says, "Special friends, like your uncle Sheldon has."

Zach says, "Like Dana Gilmore?"

"Well, kind of, but your uncle Sheldon is too old to get Dana Gilmore," Joel says.

Aurora is appalled! She says, "Honey, what are you teaching him?"

"So, Zach, how would you like a little brother or sister?"

"A sister," he says. "I want a sister."

Aurora forgets all about the questionable conversations.

Joel was never really deep enough to get Aurora's stories, but one thing he does love is reading bedtime stories to his son. These stories are simple and reassuring, and he loves the sight of him safe and lulled to sleep.

He still isn't sure sometimes that having another right now is the best idea. He thinks she's taking on too much considering she'll likely be doing it on her own. But how can he deny her that? He's very glad she wanted children so badly, because Zach is the sweetest little boy and he doesn't know if he would have been so persistent if it were up to him.

And would another one of these really be so bad?

So with Zachary tucked safely into bed, he finds her waiting in their room, dressed in nothing but strings and lace, a coy but eager smile on her lips. She says, "Did you really mean it?"

He starts to grin, sheepishly. She maneuvers up behind him, bending and pursing in just the right places. She's spent more than twenty years learning exactly what he likes.

"I'm still not sure if this is a good idea," he says. "I mean, the baby part."

But that worry is only fleeting, and it doesn't take much to convince him that they should try at least. The trying part is always fun. The practice they have down, the fit and the familiarity they have mastered. This part never fails.

"That was good," she says.

"It's always good," he says.

"No, that was off the charts. That was baby-making sex. I just know it."

"You're crazy," he says, smiling. Then not.

"You might be on your own for a while.".

"My mom will be all over us, don't worry." She's thinking of baby names already. "We already used our favorite boy name."

"I know," he says. "If it's a girl, Rebecca, after my grandmother."

"I thought you couldn't stand your family?"

"I liked my grandma," he says.

"Rebecca," she says. "That's pretty."

***

The monologue Aurora wrote for the summer festival a couple years ago not only got Bella Bradshaw noticed, but got Aurora a literary agent as well. She's revising the final drafts of her second short story collection, It Could Be Worse, and her agent thinks it looks great. Her stories have been called "smart and tragically funny tales of love and heartbreak." Okay, well her friend and fellow writer, Hailey Monif wrote that review, but the truth is, Aurora's little niche audience is indeed growing.

She just doesn't know about sending him off to space - she doesn't know about letting him try to fix the radio at home even! She doesn't want to worry about him when he's gone, or what kinds of disaster he might cause on a space ship. She just looks on in terror as he tinkers with the broken radio, remembering how such efforts usually end in disaster, and says, "Should you really be sticking it in so far?"

"Who's fixing this thing?" he says.

He says, "See, I told you I could."

"My hero," she says.

Joel is doing wonderfully in the space program, and he is even awarded a substantial grant for his performance. He's getting better at what he does, which also means he'll be undoubtedly needed to work on the shuttles at some point. But at least he doesn't have to worry about them struggling financially while he's away.

And some handyman jobs are mutually rewarding...

Like when she gets long hot bubble baths, and he gets to watch her shave her legs. See, there are perks to being handy around the house.

And this is a nice moment until her face turns queasy and she says, "Ugh."

"What?"

"Ugh, oh God." She covers her mouth and rises from that water. "Move," she says.

She jumps from the tub, naked and dripping puddles of bath water across the floor. Joel might even find this attractive if she wasn't retching her breakfast into the toilet. He thinks maybe she was right about that baby-making sex - it was really that good.

But they tried for years to conceive Zachary, so surely it's too soon for this, right?

***

Aurora has tried on a few occasions to strike up a conversation with their new neighbors, but they persist in being so completely closed off and secretive. Aurora actually enjoys her quiet peaceful days now that Zachary is in preschool. She is a writer, and a loner by nature, so she is just fine to spend these few hours on her own.

But she knows that Valerie is also home all day, and she just assumed she might like some company. She never sees any family or friends visiting their home. Her husband is rarely there, or coming and going at all hours of the night, and then he drives such a flashy car. Yes, perhaps Aurora is a bit nosy - she is a writer, and writers observe things - but she figures it's a normal question to ask, "So what does your husband do, is he an art dealer or something?"

"No, he's not an art dealer," Valerie says. "What makes you think he'd be an art dealer? And what business of your is it what my husband does?"

Aurora backs off, as she has each time before. "Well, we'd love to have your daughter over to play some time," she offers. "Since she and Zach go to school together and everything."

Aurora turns to go back inside.

"Wait," Valerie says. "I'm sorry if we got off on the wrong foot." Valerie hates to be so secretive, and she hates being so alone. She hates Maxwell's mother and he has no other family, and it seems like half this town are married to or related to cops. Really, Valerie is just dying to make some new friends.

Aurora says, "Would you like some coffee?"

Valerie says, "I'd love some."

"My husband does a lot of things," Valerie says. "A little of this and that."

"Oh, like an independent contractor?"

"Something like that," Valerie says.

Aurora would be lying though if she said this coffee date was just friendly. She finds Valerie's family fascinating, and she's dying to know more. Just imagine all the stories that must go on within those walls, and so close to her own home. She'd love to write about it. Strictly fiction, of course.

So they talk, and Aurora gets to know her new neighbor a little better. She's quiet but strong. She adores both of her children and hates her mother-in-law. She develops websites in her spare time and wants to head up a PTA for the school. They actually have quite a bit more in common than Aurora first imagined.

"I'm actually pregnant," Aurora blurts out. She took the test that morning, and she just couldn't contain it anymore.

"Oh, well, congratulations," Valerie says.

"I know, I barely know you, I just had to tell someone. I just found out this morning, I haven't even told Joel yet. I think maybe I might even wait a little, you know, just in case. I don't know if I even can wait, I'm just so excited. We've only been trying two weeks. We tried so hard the first time, and this time it just happened. I don't know, it's like I can't even believe it's real yet."

And after Aurora's lengthy confession, there is a strange new trust and honesty hanging in this silence.

"My husband," Valerie says. "Among other things, he owns a couple of nightclubs, for a living."

"Okay," Aurora says. "Nightclubs."

By the time they get back outside, the season's first snowfall has covered the ground. The kids get off the school bus, startled to see their mothers still chatting away.

***

As December winds to a close, and in honor of the holidays, they hire Phoenix McCullough to take some family pictures. They have other motives too, of course. They don't know how long Joel will be gone, and with Zach being so young, they don't know how long he'll remember. Memories are so fickle at that age. And of course, there's the new baby to think about as well.

They find out first hand how hard it is to get a four year-old to smile for pictures.

But they get a few good shots regardless.

Zachary spends some time with his cousins and grandparents so the grownups can have some time out on their own.

They head out to Deppiesse's in Lakeside Heights for some drinks and pool in the lounge. Nathan grins because he just knocked the back end of Joel's pool cue and spoiled his shot.

"You prick!" Joel says.

The ladies are sitting this game out. Aurora says to Ally, "I'm pregnant, can you believe it? I haven't told him yet."

"She's pregnant," Joel says to his brother-in-law. "I just know it, you know, her boobs get huge when she's knocked up!"

"Eww," Nathan says. "My sister."

"Oh, right," Joel says.

Joel knows Aurora will be well looked after while he's away, most likely by Blake. Somehow he just feels more comfortable asking her own actual blood brother to keep an eye on her. "So, while I'm gone," he says. "You think you could check in on her?"

"Sure I will," Nathan says. "She's my sister."

"I mean it," Joel says.

Nathan says, "Dude, I mean it too!"

It's hard to tell if Nathan ever takes anything seriously. Maybe she might be better off in Blake's care after all?

Nathan sits down next to his wife at the bar. "Hiya doll," he says, pointing a smarmy finger at her. "What brings you around this side of town?"

Ally giggles.

Aurora and Joel take a walk outside along the lakeshore. He wants to spend as much time with her as he can right now. He wants her ingrained into his memory deeply enough to last the time he's away. It's already done though - they're epic, they're off the charts, and she's ingrained enough to last a lifetime.

She tells him then, she can't contain it any more. "I'm actually pregnant," she says. "Can you believe it?"

"Really?" he says, feigning surprise. "I can't believe it!"

They sit down to watch cold foamy waves crash onto the sand. The lake doesn't freeze in the winter, it's too big, and too deep. Sometimes February might bring a slushy ice cover, but this early in the winter, it's just cold, cold waves.

"Is it really true that it's cold in space?" she asks him. "Like really, insanely cold?"

"The absence of matter to transfer heat," he says. "It's not really cold or hot, it's nothing - I don't know how to explain it." He smiles and squeezes her knee. "But it doesn't matter since we'll be nice and warm in the ships."

He isn't a stupid man, he can learn things. He's been training in the space program for six years now, and this will be his first actual trip into space. This is exciting, to some degree. This is what he's been training for, though he never knew he'd end up in a war situation. Now he'll have new recruits to look after, to guide and teach. Now, instead of leading them out to study and investigate, he'll be leading them out to protect their home. To serve and protect, that is what he signed up to do after all.

"I'll ask your brother to look in on you," he says. He already did, of course, but he can't mention that.

"My mom's out there with us, Clarice and Blake."

"Your real brother," he says. He means it as a joke, kind of.

"Don't be like that," she says. "Nate's all the way out in the suburbs. You should call your brother, and we should visit your parents soon, before you go. They're not young, you know."

"We will," he says.

"Don't worry about us," she says. "You'll be back home before she's even walking."

Joel says, "She?"

Aurora was only twenty-two, a senior in college, and Joel was a directionless post-grad the first time they got pregnant. That was bad timing, but had it worked out, they would have been happy. It was a girl, they were far enough along to find that out.

"I still think about her," Aurora says. "Do you ever think about her?"

"Sure," he says. He tries not to, to be quite honest, but he finds himself wondering sometimes, would she have had Aurora's serene smile, or bright blue eyes?

"She was bad timing, but we would have loved her."

"It was different then," he says. "I wasn't... Don't you ever worry? Do you ever think about what you'll do if-"

"No," she says, cutting him short. "I don't want to think about that."

He moves to wrap himself around her, his chin on her shoulder, his hand comes to rest on her belly, their third little bean, holding them both at the same time.

"Okay," he says.

She doesn't want to think about it, so she won't. She can't even attempt to fathom it. He's the great torrid love-affair of her life. She can't remember loving before she loved him. She can't remember feeling before he taught her how. So when she writes about love, her stories are never just fiction.

*****

notes: Aurora has wanted another baby ever since Zach was born, and then Zach rolled a new family member want, so Joel's baby fear gets vetoed in this case. 2 against 1, buddy! He'll get over it - we'll just imagine he's afraid of leaving her alone with a new baby. But they conceived on their very first try, and new baby Harris will be due early next fall ;)

*** outtake ***

They actually had a small party one night, and absolutely nothing interesting happened except for this funny ACR moment. Hailey says, "Divorcee in the room, you guys can cut it out now!"

ACR makes parties kind of boring when everybody's coupled up, and you can't get them to do anything but make out with each other, lol!